Understanding Co-Regulation

I am starting the process of capturing concepts from 𝐶𝑜-𝑅𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝐻𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 and 𝐷𝑒𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝐿𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝐻𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 in graphics like this!

Today, I want to help co-regulation become an easy-to-understand concept for everyone.

Co-regulation requires us to be present in the moment and open to all that our communication partner is giving to us. As we practice this, we will create a strong feedback loop with our kids, where we read their communication, both verbal and nonverbal, and respond contingently. Your child’s trust will grow because they feel safe and understood. Then, over time, they become more open to your guidance within new experiences.

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Co-Regulation: When two people - such as a child and a caregiver - are partners in an interaction in which they are responding contingently to each other moment to moment.

Interactions are not predetermine, but are the fluid, ongoing, and unfolding process of continuous, reciprocal exchanges between individuals.

Ch. 2 What You Need to Know to Get Started Right Away

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Co-Regulation: Importantly, there is balance. Each person contributes equally to the exchange.

It is a dance that is worth learning how to do because so much positive, interpersonal learning happens when true co-regulation is the backdrop.

Ch. 2 What You Need to Know to Get Started Right Away

We’ll get to all that down the road, but your homework for now is to find a time in your week where you can let go of any agenda, be present with your child, and respond contingently in the moment. Pick a time where you feel comfortable, not stressed, and not rushed. Maybe it’s while you are driving in the car. Maybe it is during a bedtime story. Five minutes or less is a great start, and all ideas are welcome in the comments!

The small moments matter, and you’ll see how being present in the moment with our kids feels great once we give it a try.

Let me know if these visuals work for you and I will keep at it.

And, be sure to like and share this post so our community grows.

Have a great week!

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