How do we help older kids become more independent? - Part 2

Nov 14

As promised, here is more information on what using co-regulation to support growing independence looks like, to help you learn how to approach, spot, and think about these learning opportunities.

Remember — start ONE idea at a time to set yourself up for success.

And enjoy another excerpt from Chapter 5 of Co-Regulation Handbook.

Have a great week!

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How do we help older kids become more independent - Part 2 - Use Co-Regulation! (+ DL!)

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Step 1: Decide what you want to teach.

I’m sure there are many tasks of daily living that you want your older child to learn. But when getting started, it’s important to pick just 1 thing.

Think of something that could make a small difference in your lives once mastered.

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Some ideas:

Making macaroni & cheese

Helping unpack groceries

Unloading the dishwasher

Making lunch for school

Taking out the trash

Changing a lightbulb

Setting an alarm clock

Important: Start small to set yourself up for success.

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Step 2a: Approach with competence in mind.

What is a role you could assign the child to start, where you know they would be competent?

(Competence = They can do it on their own, with just a little bit of time and/or a little bit of help)

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Step 2b: Create partnership, or contingency, around this role.

Once you have identified a competent role for them, scaffold by assuming responsibility for the rest.

You are a team, working toward a shared goal.

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Step 3: Transfer responsibility, a little bit at a time, over time.

Once you see they have mastered the first role, fade back your scaffolding slightly to offer them a next competent role. What is 1 next thing you could imagine them being competent in?

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Here is how one family did this (excerpt from Ch. 5 of Co-Regulation Handbook)

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You can do it too! One idea, one competent role, at a time.

(continued excerpt from Co-Regulation Handbook)

See Co-Regulation Handbook for more examples and ideas!